Mak / Mummy / Madre / Maminka / Moeder / Mëmë / Majka

12:38 AM


My syurga dunia akhirat SMOOCH!


      Different panggilan what with the same meaning - our first love, mother. The one who gave us lives in exchange of hers. The one who put her children's needs in front of hers. The one who'd take a bullet for us in a heartbeat. This lady right here...I called her Ma or Mama. Korang kalau dapat teka the origin of the languages of these panggilan of mak dekat tajuk atas tu, komen kat bawah nanti ok? Tengok siapa pandai, hehe.

      I know Mother's Day is long gone but tonight I wanna write about her because she deserves to know she is loved and appreciated even it is hard for her to believe. To be frank, our relationship were not the best growing up. I always think of her as a strict and un-fun mother as she was always in her teaching mode, always ready to step in highlighting what I did wrong and showed me the right way to do it. Being a kid and teen after, weh geram kot macam ugh, hidup is for tenang and fun. Seriously rasa mak ni party pooper. But not all the time. She had her moment, glimpse of her that makes me see her as a proper human being. I didn't look into it that much to be honest as I was too busy growing up, taking life by the balls so to speak.

      But as I get older, seeing her being a leader at her work and her amazing work ethic like oh my God, I fell in love. I fell in love with how she could demand the attention of the room, speaking eloquently from her mind and the way she got her job done with precision. I could see myself admiring and wondering if I could ever fill in her shoes, being that awesome. It must be hard.

      Then as I started working in 2015, still young as she was, she asked me whether she could retire and enjoy life and her time with daddy. With all of her family's blessings, she did. She deserved that after working way too hard for all of us, from the office and to working tirelessly for all of us, cooking and cleaning at home. Both she did wonderfully if I might add. What a superwoman.

      The year after that was a test for both of us as it was only she and I would be at home 24/7. I was just graduated and taking a gap year to travel and finding myself - life after graduate, where would I go, what kind of career I would like to build and such. She was still geared up from retiring from work, banyak gila energy mama where she's still finding the tune to rest totally. Dang, 2016 deserves a post on its own. InsyaAllah one day I'll write it down. Mucho interesting, haha. We were also finding the right balance to be for each other and being apart, having our own spaces.

      Then speed through to current time... Our relationship has blossomed into something I would cherish and savour until the end of time. You know when you feel like you want to hug someone kuat² geram-ly? That. That is how I would explain the nature of our relationship now. Sayang sangat! Previously we would have screaming matches to make our points come across. Now, we will still forever learning the best way to communicate with each other and I could say it's getting better and better each day, alhamdulillah.

      Like today, well actually menulis ni pun sebab the thing happened today, hahahaha sorry mukadimah panjaaang gila. Pasaipa dah lama tak menulis kan -.- K get back to the topic. Harini I felt like it's another milestone for our relationship. Papa went to his brother's house for tahlil arwah for their mother, my nenek, 24 years anniversary of her passing. Alfatihah... May Allah grant her Jannatul Firdausi.

      Usually papa would be our imam for all prayers but since there's just the two of us, after iftar, she wanted to be the imam (berebut juga dengan aku nak jadi imam haha) for maghrib. And after prayer, we reviewed the bacaan and such, belajar where we could be better. Then we got to talking, heart to heart. Ya Allah my heart melts, crying for her. She's not really the touchy-feely person so when she told me all the stories she had store away, I feel like I understand her more; why she is the way she is. The lessons she had growing up...and the emotional rawness...HUGS! We got carried away, talked about everything and anything under the sky for 2 hours plus until daddy came back and she asked me to be the imam for isyak. Takut kena judge bacaan dengan papa lettew! Hahahahahahaha!

      This post is dedicated to you, madre. Thank you for showing us that nothing could mess with us if we wouldn't let them. You are one strong lady. I love you madre! I appreciate your existance and everything that comes with it. May Allah grant you Jannatul Firdausi surrounded by all of us, amin aminnn ya robbal alamin!

See you again.
Assalamualaikum.

PS: She knew I was gonna write about her because I asked her retirement year lol I forgot aaand she said my previous post is boring uwaaa T.T Yeke boring korang? Cubit mama!

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