Ain't All Roses & Sunshine

I promise myself that I'll be 99% candid/frank about everything I write from now on, no matter how uncomfortable the topics are. Today is one of the day. That 1% will be between Allah and I. Smile.

I feel like people see me as having it all, without having any difficulties in life. Welp, that ain't true. 'Cos what you see on my social media are my highlight reels; the things that I'm grateful for. No one sees the ugly side, the rocky mountains I have to climb. 

You didn't see I broke down crying in the toilet of the hospital's emergency dept this morning just 'cos I cant pee in a cup correctly. Seems miniscule right...but not to me. I felt so frustrated. Peeing in a cup for years was not a problem. Somehow it is a struggle for me now. And to have people ridicule your struggle? That's just the icing on top.

It took me almost 3 hours to get it right. I had to buy 2 bottles of water to fill the tank. Finally did it when mama brought me a plastic container which has a wider mouth to catch it all. Thanks ma.

And then came the news from the doctor, still figuring it out. Gonna write about it another day. I'm on meds now. Nothing serious I hope. Please pray that everything will be ok.

I came to the hospital at 8am and got home around 3pm when I could've gone home at 12pm. My left arm is still sore from when the medical assistant somehow poke my tendon when he was looking for my blood vessel to draw my blood. It was funny and tragic. Be that as it may, I do believe everything happened for a reason. But it was tiring. I am drained this whole day.

Special shoutout to my best bud, Dr Haziqah for encouraging me to do the checkup and be there for me in the early hours even though you left me for other patient after that, hahaha.

Take care everyone. 

Thanks for coming on here, crashing the party. Woot!

See ya next time!

Assalamualaikum.

xx