Sunflowers & Sunshines


Grief is a funny thing. I was reciting the quran and suddenly remember a tender memory of papa coming home from the masjid while mama and I were both reciting quran in our own rooms, doors ajar. Papa stood in the hallway, a calm and happy smile plastered on his face, soaking it all up.

While I too smiling just now thinking about this. Suddenly tears pooling in my eyes and my voice became croaky, trying to catch my breath. I continued reciting nevertheless.

And then I hit verse 129, surah At-Taubah which read:

But if they turn away, then say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Allah is sufficient for me. There is no god ˹worthy of worship˺ except Him. In Him I put my trust. And He is the Lord of the Mighty Throne.”

And my tears streamed down.
I recited that verse 3 times and just let myself feel everything, the heaviness, the joy, the calmness that comes with it too.

Allahumma firlahu warhamhu wa'afihi wa'fu anhu 🤲🏻
I miss you pa.
See you in Jannatul Firdaus.

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